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1.
AWS 02:41
So it starts off like... [bass line on piano] And then it's like: I am so special, and I am unique. A perfect snowflake, no one else like me My name is Bradley Rohlf It’s one of few things that rhymes with golf My first name can be shortened and folks usually do Even when I don’t ask them to When I was a young’n, I would say I don’t care If you call me Bradley or Brad, they’re both fair But sophomore year of high school I decided I would be Henceforth known as only Bradley I am so special and I am unique. A perfect snowflake, no one else like me Don’t think of me as arrogant let’s try to get this right. I’m proud of who I am I’m just Another White Suburbanite. Yes I prefer to be called Bradley; it makes me feel much bolder When rolling off the tongue of someone thirty years or older This rap is my life story; I shout it for all to hear I’m a product of my environment; let’s make that crystal clear I am so special and I am unique. A perfect snowflake, no one else like me I am so special and so very unique. A perfect snowflake, there is no one else like me Don’t think of me as arrogant let’s try to get this right. I’m proud of who I am I’m just Another White Suburbanite. [Bradley:] Oh, my self-esteem is through the roof [female:] You are likeable and capable [Bradley:] I’ve got a positive outlook [female:] You can do anything if you put your mind to it [Bradley:] I had a pretty rough life, like that time my mom took my Gameboy away [female:] I want to give you some constructive criticism [Bradley:] Or when I had to shovel the driveway after it snowed [female:] No one can make you feel inferior without your permission [Bradley:] Oh, but you know I’m building character [female:] It’s okay to give in to positive peer pressure
2.
Work hard, party down Like you never woulda did in your hometown It’s time to come and see What the college life can do for you and me See a girl and you strut your stuff She doesn’t like it; gotta go to the gym get buff Stay up on the latest trends With all the money that your momma and poppa send Do what they told you in school Do what they told you in school Do what they told you in school Do what they told you Late night, gotta cram It’s gonna be another ‘D’ on this exam It doesn’t matter if you fail or pass As long as you’re looking good you got a lotta class Do what they told you in school Do what they told you in school Do what they told you in school Do what they told you in school They told me, “go to college, work hard; They give everyone a job, so long as you. Do what they told you in school” Do what they told you in school Do what they told you in school
3.
It’s so hot here in the ‘burbs And the public pool don’t cool my nerves There’s gotta be a better way Summer in the city, I’ve got to get away I’d feel better in a semi-natural body of water Say a valley where they stopped up the river And built a small resort Let’s go down to some dam lake It’s time for me to take a break Well it’s courtesy of your corps of engineers It’s some dam lake Pack up the kids and hop in the car Two or three hours it ain’t that far It’s our favorite destination For family fun and recreation I’ll feel better when I get down to that water That old valley where they stopped up the river And built a small resort Let’s go down to some dam lake It’s time for me to take a break Well it’s courtesy of your corps of engineers It’s some dam lake Let’s go down to some dam lake I’ve gotta get to some recreational Stream-fed, Watershed Some dam lake
4.
Hello world, I think I’ll watch you at a distance From the safety of my liquid crystal display If you could be so kind as to stay outside my walls I will not bother you, and you can leave me be Sometimes I feel it: The urge to get up and leave Wouldn’t it be nice if I could see it for myself? Unlock the door, step out and conquer all my fears Wouldn’t it be nice? Fluorescent light bulbs shine on everything I know Here inside my fortress of solitude Maybe I could get the nerve to leave my chair But I don’t need anything, I’m just not in the mood Wouldn’t it be nice if I could see it for myself? Unlock the door, step out and conquer all my fears Wouldn’t it be nice to make a change today? Some spontaneity to spice up my routine Wouldn’t it be nice? Wouldn't it be nice? Wouldn't it be so nice? I wouldn't, wouldn't I
5.
If I could have lunch with anyone in the world living or dead, Then I would choose to dine with someone who is alive. Oh, a corpse isn’t very fun to play with A corpse isn’t very fun at all He will lie around all day until he rots away No a corpse isn’t very fun at all Have you ever hung out with a cadaver? The first thing you will notice is the smell And no amount of Old Spice can cover it up It can’t compare to a real live person Oh, a corpse isn’t very fun to play with A corpse isn’t very fun at all He will lie around all day until he rots away No a corpse isn’t very fun at all Have you ever got a date from the morgue You can bring flowers, but it won’t care Weak in the knees it will collapse on the floor It can’t compare to a real live person Oh, a corpse isn’t very fun to play with A corpse isn’t very fun at all He will lie around all day until he rots away No a corpse isn’t very fun at all
6.
No one ever grows up; they just get better at faking it. When I was a child the people told me to value my youth. They seemed so dissatisfied with their enlightenment of truth. Hey take a look at Peter Pan and his Lost Boys A portrait of what grown-ups think are all of their lost joys But as a boy I wanted more responsibility The thought that every body else could look up to me Now as I’m older I’ve seen the light and I see it so clear There’s no real gain, no mystic progress, with the changing of the year No one, no one ever grows up; they just get better at faking it No one, no one ever grows up; they just get better at faking it Hey old man, you’ve seen my life and I’ve seen your ways You say you can measure your depth of wisdom by the length of your days I’ve been watching how you interact, and the advice you lend Young or old, there is no difference, there’s no need to pretend No one, no one ever grows up; they just get better at faking it No one, no one ever grows up; they just get better at faking it

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The debut studio EP for Another White Suburbanite

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released August 29, 2011

All songs written and performed by Bradley Rohlf
Produced by Dalton O'Conner, Underline Studios

Be a fan on Facebook: www.facebook.com/AnotherWhiteSuburbanite

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Another White Suburbanite St Louis, Missouri

It was bound to happen. Another White Suburbanite is playing his piano and singing songs about life as he knows it. Rife with social commentary and bourgeois angst, this product of the self-esteem movement will make you so mad you want to laugh about it. ... more

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